THE START OF A BIG COLLECTION OF TY’S ARTICLES AND HIJINX:
#1: ISSUE 2 RELEASE PARTY AT REAT STREET
If your wondering what Lump $um is right now stop what your doing, drop the little pieces of paper in your hands, and turn away. Ok, now that there gone…About two months ago there was a party at a bar to celebrate and promote the release of the highly anticipated Lump $um 2nd issue. I wish I could remember more of it but like I said it was at a bar and it was a Lump $um party so thats where photos come into play. A booth got taken over and t-shirt, zines, and stickers were displayed around it, more beer was spilled on product than shirts bought but fools were hyped in general. Anyway, some strangers bought shirts which is good, and issues were distributed all night. Mostly lots of beer and shots were put down, and it turns out freebasing hash in a bar is easier accomplished than one might think. The evening went on to getting kicked out, I think, heading back to the home base for more drinking and hijynx, and staying up till 5 in the morning for no reason at all. Another thing was discovered that night; all it takes to get into amateur pornography is a camera.
STORIES FROM THE BARRIO WITH JILARIO:
FEAR AND LOATHING IN NEW YORK CITY (2012)
Remember that time when you were a little kid
and you went to go do some awesome thing with all your friends, and then
halfway through you kinda started regretting your decisions and wishing you
just stayed home where its normal and safe? Well this trip was kinda like that
except were all grown ups now and we were across the United States so going
home was not an option…It kinda turned into like one of those old war movies
where everything is fucked up and lost so fools just say fuck it and go buck
wild. Anywho the third issue of Lump$um was finalized so we figured it would be
really cool if we premiered it in NYC first instead of the bay, we also had
grand schemes of skating, filming, and raging with Andy Dick, none of which
happened. Start the trip in West Oakland, Jessie Wane Grow (JWG from now on)
and I are getting our minds right for the flight out, hop on WSO BART, take the
long ride to SFO to meet TurfTats Nick (TTN) at the “Shitty Pizza Grill
Crap” bar, and get on the plane.
I don’t think the poor ladies of Jet Blue were
ready for us, by the time were halfway through the flight Jessie is asking for
discounts from our now personal bartender “Peggy”, and the second she
walks away starts spitting Vodka all over the seat in front of him. I know, I
know, we are classy people…Well I guess being nice and tipping your flight
attendant works cus we drank for 5 hours and our bill was only $80, thanks
“Peggy” from Houston. Get off the plane and there’s no shuttle
service to Queens, what the fuck….Downstairs we
go to take some fucking bus with 2000 other people. Needless to say we were
tanked at this point, TTN sees some dude that looks like Andy Dick. “Andy
Dick!” TTN yells, “Yes?” Andy Dick replies…Weird…So it actually
was Andy Dick and somehow we managed to drunkenly get our way into his Escalade
for a ride to Manhattan. On the way we talk it
up, blah blah, he had some weird quiet young dude with him, his nephew I
think/hope. Andy gets a Lupm$um t-shirt and some zines to read, he gives me his
number to rage later and says we can promote on his radio show in LA if we ever
make it there, thanks Mr.Dick. Evan is the homie from high school and was nice
enough to let us crash in his spot for the trip, oh and he lives a block from
all the best LES bars. Thanks Evan, sorry your house smelled/looked like a bar
two nights in!
Anyway, RAGE RAGE RAGE, Orrian, Danielle, Delano, Shane Shane, and Youngass showed up the next
morning. The following four days were EXTREMELY hazy so were just gonna do a
recap of the rest of the trip….Going back and forth from the LES to Brooklyn
the whole trip, raging with Sean Stockton, ZbotTheDiabolikleone, and Santi.
Santi has got a super nice pad in Williamsburg
but according to our official art curator ZBOT, his art game is not up to par.
He was still a trooper and let us fuck shit up, thanks Santi. Went to go see a
Mets game vs. the Giants, that was rad. The new Mets stadium looks like a
fucking shopping mall, trippy. We went there over the 420 holiday and had way
too much weed with us, no wonder the trip was so hazy, Dutchies all day son!
Guest appereances by Chistopher Cunnalingus and his lady, Rapist Randy, an
eggplant, and even tall Matt on the last night. Serch met up for a couple of
nights, and we were visited multiple times by Lindsay Lohan and Molly Syrus.
Also turns out riding your bike around Brooklyn in the rain isn’t good for you cus Serch wound up in the hospital with some gnarley flu. The last day we actually got down to some business and had an impromptu video/issue premier at Max Fish, where’s Tino? Lee Smith was there though and was hyped on the zine, lots of other dudes were there and were hyped on the vid, thanks again bartender lady! JWG got tatted on his birthday, he fell asleep on the table, and the tat dude said he was the easiest person to tattoo ever. Well that about sums it up, the next morning on the flight home we were really gross and stinky, I feel really sorry for the dude we sat next to. Thanks NYC!!